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The Art of Shaving Your Face In Ireland
Shaving in Ireland is NOT like it is in America. Back in the USA, I adjust the warm and cold water to come out of the faucet, splash it on my face add the shaving cream and shave. Occasionally, I run the water through the razor to rinse it clean.
Here, in Ireland, there are two faucets, not one. Now, this is no third world country. Cell phones, yes. Plasma TV’s sure. One common faucet for hot and cold. NOPE, not a one in the nation.
So, you have to put the stopper in the sink (I don’t even know if I have a sink stopper in my house, in Florida), there’s always one on the sink. Oh, and another thing about the bathroom sinks here. They have this series of shelves above them. They start at the edge of the sink top and extend up about four feet. There are about shelves for soap, shelves for soap, shelves for toothbrushes and shelves for things that haven’t been invented yet (these are located above the shelves for things that nobody uses anymore). There’s also a small mirror that opens up to a medicine chest, a very small medicine chest. This would come in handy for aspirin, alka-seltzer or Rolaids (only one of each though). All in all, if you look at this sink / shelf/ mirror thingy. It gives the appearance of a shrine. Very odd.
Fill it up with insanely hot and freezing cold water mix it up with your partially scalded hands until it is bearable. Then you can splash it on your face and put the shaving cream on. Except the many shelves from the shrine to the shaving God are in your way. They hang out over half the surface of the sink. One must manipulate the head with the skill of snake (except snakes have MUCH longer necks). The end result of this is that you end up with a crick in your neck and water on your, no longer dry, socks.
Now, you can shave. Everything is the same as in the U.S. until you have to rinse out the razor. This is done, over here, by swishing the razor into the pool of water. Sounds good? It’s not. What you have done is turn that basin of clean water into a stagnant pool dotted with shaving cream icebergs which are, in turn, dotted with tiny little hairs. Yuk!
But you are shaving, pretty much like you’re used to. And then, you’re finished, of course you’re probably bleeding a bit, since the water in the stagnant pool doesn’t stay hot in the cold bathroom, and shaving with cold water is a set up for a cut. But that’s okay; one should shed some blood when at the shrine of the sink God.
Now, just rinse the face and you’re done. Rinse it with what, the perfectly warm and clean water running out of your one American faucet? Nope. Cup your hands and dip them into the stagnant pool of shaving cream, little hairs and blood. Now, splash that on your face!
That’s all there is to it. The only good part is that it is such a freakin pain that I have found it is perfectly acceptable to shave only once or twice a week.
Shaving in Ireland is NOT like it is in America. Back in the USA, I adjust the warm and cold water to come out of the faucet, splash it on my face add the shaving cream and shave. Occasionally, I run the water through the razor to rinse it clean.
Here, in Ireland, there are two faucets, not one. Now, this is no third world country. Cell phones, yes. Plasma TV’s sure. One common faucet for hot and cold. NOPE, not a one in the nation.
So, you have to put the stopper in the sink (I don’t even know if I have a sink stopper in my house, in Florida), there’s always one on the sink. Oh, and another thing about the bathroom sinks here. They have this series of shelves above them. They start at the edge of the sink top and extend up about four feet. There are about shelves for soap, shelves for soap, shelves for toothbrushes and shelves for things that haven’t been invented yet (these are located above the shelves for things that nobody uses anymore). There’s also a small mirror that opens up to a medicine chest, a very small medicine chest. This would come in handy for aspirin, alka-seltzer or Rolaids (only one of each though). All in all, if you look at this sink / shelf/ mirror thingy. It gives the appearance of a shrine. Very odd.
Fill it up with insanely hot and freezing cold water mix it up with your partially scalded hands until it is bearable. Then you can splash it on your face and put the shaving cream on. Except the many shelves from the shrine to the shaving God are in your way. They hang out over half the surface of the sink. One must manipulate the head with the skill of snake (except snakes have MUCH longer necks). The end result of this is that you end up with a crick in your neck and water on your, no longer dry, socks.
Now, you can shave. Everything is the same as in the U.S. until you have to rinse out the razor. This is done, over here, by swishing the razor into the pool of water. Sounds good? It’s not. What you have done is turn that basin of clean water into a stagnant pool dotted with shaving cream icebergs which are, in turn, dotted with tiny little hairs. Yuk!
But you are shaving, pretty much like you’re used to. And then, you’re finished, of course you’re probably bleeding a bit, since the water in the stagnant pool doesn’t stay hot in the cold bathroom, and shaving with cold water is a set up for a cut. But that’s okay; one should shed some blood when at the shrine of the sink God.
Now, just rinse the face and you’re done. Rinse it with what, the perfectly warm and clean water running out of your one American faucet? Nope. Cup your hands and dip them into the stagnant pool of shaving cream, little hairs and blood. Now, splash that on your face!
That’s all there is to it. The only good part is that it is such a freakin pain that I have found it is perfectly acceptable to shave only once or twice a week.
posted by Project-Ireland at 12:56 PM
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